


Operation Distraction

by Pigeonations



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Birthday Party, Chatting & Messaging, Hijinks & Shenanigans, MOST OF THE GANG IS ALL HERE JUST TRUST ME
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 11:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigeonations/pseuds/Pigeonations
Summary: How do you plan the perfect party? It's fairly simple. It takes hard work, dedication, and an entire group chat.





	1. 3:00: It Shouldn't Be That Hard!

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally gonna be a oneshot for Dwyer's birthday, but surprise multi-chapter fic to celebrate!
> 
> Nina has some...interesting contact names.

Nina had one job.

All she had to do was distract her brother and keep him out of the house for a few hours-- at least long enough for their parents to finish decorating the house for his surprise party. The distracting part was fairly easy. As long as he had his phone and somewhere to relax, Dwyer could entertain himself. However, it was the keeping _him out of the house_  that was tricky. Nina knew that he would rather die than deprave himself of the comfort that was his bed. Just getting him out of his room was hard enough.  
The task at hand was difficult, but she was determined to carry out her mission.

The last school bell rang, heralding the end of the day. Students flooded into the hallways, all eager to return home or to their club rooms. Not missing a beat, Nina quickly began shoving her belongings into her book bag.

"Nina!" Ophelia turned in her seat, tapping on Nina's desk to get her attention. "Will you be gracing the anime club with thine wise and noble presence today?"

"Can't. Sorry. Got big plans." Nina dumped her pencil case into her bag. She picked up her textbook, frowning as she looked at it. "Mind throwin' this in your locker today?"

"What's this about plans?" Ophelia hesitantly took the book, raising an eyebrow as she carefully unzipped her bag and slid the book in.

"My brother's birthday is today and--"

"That's today?!" Ophelia suddenly shouted. "How could I have forgotten? I thought I wrote it down in my planner!"

"It's...okay. He'll get over it." Nina stood up, slinging her bookbag over her shoulder. "Just make him a card when you get home. It's no big deal."

"Is he having a party?"

Nina groaned, already annoyed with her onslaught of questions. She loved Ophelia dearly, but sometimes she got tired of having her ear talked off. "Yeah, it's at our house..."

"And you didn't even invite or warn me?" Ophelia placed a hand to her chest, sighing dramatically. "Betrayed by the very person I call friend? My heart will surely burst with--"

"Look, there won't BE a party if I don't keep him out of the house today!" Nina pulled her phone out of her pocket, looking at the time and immediately becoming antsy again. "If I screw up, Dad is gonna give me...the look."

Ophelia gasped. "The look?"

"Pops finds it funny, but the look isn't something to joke around with. Dwyer's got it too. It's the scariest thing I've ever seen."

"That won't do at all." Ophelia placed her bag on her desk, pulling her phone out of a side pocket. "Nina, it is my duty, as your friend, to aid you on this quest."

"Cool, bye!" Nina started to walk out the door. Before she could even make it all the way out the door, she paused, worry starting to become apparent by the expression on her face. "...Aid?" She looked back, only to see Ophelia furiously texting. "Aid how?"

"Aaand...sent!" Ophelia smiled. "Fear not. You should expect to have several helpers on your journey."

"....What did you do?"

  
Nina's phone chimed. She looked down and paled in horror at the wall of text that greeted her notification screen.

* * *

 

(3:05)

Weeb Supreme: Salutations, my friends! As you know, tonight is a blessed day, for our dearest friend, Dwyer is becoming another year older. Nina has informed me of a celebration occurring on this eve at her residence, but she is struggling with a issue. Her gods-given mission is to prevent Sir Dwyer from returning to their abode and, as she would say "totally ruining his party". It is in our best interest to assist her, and so, I request that we put forth a collective effort to aid Nina! So if possible, can you please assist this good cause?

Weeb Supreme: Thanking you all in advance, Ophelia.

* * *

 

"Consider it a 'help wanted' notice." Ophelia hummed and made her way out of the classroom. "You're welcome!"

"This was a solo thing! How many people did you send this to?!"

"Enough!"

"You WHAT?!" Nina tore herself away from her phone. Before she could even yell at Ophelia properly, she was already gone, mixing into the crowd. Nina stared in disbelief at her phone once more. More messages began appearing on her screen.

* * *

 

(3:08)

°˖✧Boss✧˖°: I can see what I can do! I have a violin lesson soon but I'm sure I'll be able to do something before then.  
Goth Bitch: We're still in the library.  
Goth Bitch: I can't guarantee that he'll stay long but we'll see.  
Awoo ! :3c: surprise parties dont even seem like something hes into lmao  
Sunshine: :oo ooh parties...i wanna go!!  
Sunshine: team work makes the dream work yknow :p  
Ocean Man: A collective effort?  
Sunshine: yeah!! and we get cake out the deal!!  
Sweet Thang: cake  
Sweet Thang: what  
Sweet Thang: where  
Sweet Thang: whatever it is im in

 

 

> **Guys pls dont make this weird**

Sweet Thang: ur dad deadass makes great sweets ngl  
Goth Bitch: If you love them so much you should Marry Them.

(3:11)  
Miitomo: What is this.  
Miitomo: A group chat? Do we not already have one?  
Sweet Thang: trying to sneak into the family tbh  
Sweet Thang: i feel like dwyer would divorce me after 2 hours  
Miitomo: You're wasting data / Making these incessant chat / Stop it, you moron  
Sunshine: iggy are you in or are you in  
Ocean Man: What time is this party?

 

 

> **omfg**  
>  **like**  
>  **8 ish ? ?**

 (3:13)

Sunshine: igggggyyyyyyyyyyy ohhhhhhhmy goodoododo  
Sunshine: answer the phone!! >:[

Sunshine: is he even in the chat rn

 

 

> **forrest bring ur best friend**

 

°˖✧Boss✧˖°: ? ? Kiragi?

 

 

> **ye**  
>  **boyfriend and your best friend**  
>  **bring both**

(3:15)

°˖✧Boss✧˖°: If time permits, I'll try!

 

 

> **wait shigure can drive nvm**  
>  **best friend + his hot cousin**

Weeb Supreme: I see that my plans have worked. :)  
Weeb Supreme: Best of luck to you all, my friends. May the Fates bless our quest with good luck and good fortune!

Nina felt stress pile up, but suddenly bubble back down. Perhaps the extra help would be beneficial...  
She looked at the time. 3:17. She had a whole 3 hours to keep her mess of a brother as far from the house as possible. Biting her lip, Nina opened another chat.

* * *

 

 

 

> **(3:17)**
> 
> **Hey pops, tell dad we might have some extra guests......**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case:
> 
> Weeb Supreme - Ophelia  
> °˖✧Boss✧˖° - Forrest  
> Goth Bitch - Rhajat  
> Awoo ! :3c - Velouria  
> Ocean Man - Shigure  
> Sunshine - Soleil  
> Sweet Thang - Asugi  
> Miitomo - Mitama


	2. 3:20: This is a Terrible Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phase One of formulating the Perfection Distraction: Bore them to death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rhajat seems like the type to have people's whole names, doesn't she?

"Do you understand it now?"

 

"Um. Yeah. I think so."

 

"It's easy." Rhajat picked up her pencil, beginning to tap it on her notebook in thought. "If it's monatomic, just add "-ide" on the end. Just remember that when writing chemical formulas." Her phone buzzed. She briefly looked over at her incoming messages, rolling her eyes for what had to be the third time since the chat opened. The speed of the chat combined with the inane mission that had been forced upon her was enough to give her a headache.

* * *

(3:20)

Eponine S: u tutor him right

Eponine S: do a impromptu session!! as long as u can

Eponine S: pretty plssss

* * *

 

"....One second." Rhajat picked up her phone, quickly typing back a response before turning it over.

 

* * *

 

 

 

> **You owe me.**
> 
> **Never ask me for anything again.**

* * *

 

"Sorry."

 

Dwyer raised an eyebrow, twirling his pen between his fingers. "Everything okay?"

 

"Everything's okay." Rhajat turned to him, shaking her head. "Just...stuff."

 

"Stuff?"

 

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing." She sighed. "Where were we?"

 

"Naming compounds."

 

"Right. So then potassium chloride would be...?"

 

Dwyer stared blankly, his pen slowly losing speed until it stopped moving altogether. He dropped his pen on the table, closing his eyes and slumping back in his chair. Rhajat frowned, leaning forward and picking up his pen. She placed it back in his hand and shook him a bit.

 

"Dwyer. Answer me."

 

"Can we...stop?" Dwyer dropped his pen again. "I'm not feeling it."

 

"Something's wrong."

 

"Nothing's wrong, I swear." He opened one eye, only to see Rhajat glaring back at him. He felt a chill go down his spine as she scowled at him. He sat back up in his chair briefly before leaning over the table, resting his cheek on his textbook. Rhajat took her eraser and jabbed him in the cheek repeatedly.

 

"Dwyer, I know you better than that. Whatever's bothering you, I can assure you, I can handle it if need be."

 

Dwyer couldn't help but crack a smile. "Yeah? You mean it?"

 

"Look at me. I'm taking time I could be using for my own nefarious deeds to spend time with you. You're very lucky."

 

"Gee, thanks." He deadpanned.

 

"What's bothering you? You're gloomy-- even moreso than usual. "

 

Dwyer hummed in thought. He closed his notebook, and turned to face Rhajat. He attempted to return her scowl as best as he could. "I feel...weird."

 

"Weird? Explain yourself."

 

"You know it's my birthday--"

 

"Another year closer to the sweet release of eternal rest."

 

"--god, I wish." Dwyer sighed. "But all the attention is just draining. Strangers wishing me happy birthday, teachers making it known to the entire class....I just want to eat some good food, get the usual yearly pair of socks and relax."

 

"You're not having a party this year?" Rhajat reached for her phone again, starting to feel a bit nervous.

 

"A _party_ party? Probably not. I was gonna go to breakfast with Velouria and Shigure to celebrate tomorrow."

 

"...That's it?"

 

"Nothing more, nothing less. I don't do extravagant celebrations."  Dwyer shrugged. "You're welcome to swing by if you want some celebratory pancakes, or whatever."

 

"Pancakes, huh?" Rhajat began texting again. "You've intrigued me. Do go on."

* * *

 

 

> (3:27)
> 
> **It occurred to me that this party may not be the best idea.**

 Eponine S: ? wha

Eponine S: u say that as if i planned it myself

Forrest N: Is everything alright?

 

>   **Dwyer expresses no interest in a party.**

Velouria G: lmaooo i told you hes gonna hate it

(3:30)

Eponine S: its a surprise party?? wth do you expect

Velouria G: you know what he likes

Velouria G: free food

Velouria G: just leave him alone before it crashes and burns

Eponine S: k

Eponine S: tell that to my dad

Eponine S: who's probably slaving over a hot oven to bake

Eponine S: while also trying to decorate bc god knows pops isnt helping

Asugi G: hey....lets not be hasty....we can make this work

> **This is a terrible idea.**

Forrest N: What's he doing now?

* * *

 

Rhajat looked over at Dwyer.

 

"I mean, I'm not really a breakfast person, but pancakes are the one food I'd bother to cook myself."

* * *

 

> (3:31)
> 
> **Distracted.**  

Eponine S: Nice....nice...

Ophelia D: Hello, all.

Ophelia D: Sorry for the intrusion, but I must ask a very pressing question. Nina, why are you texting during the movie?

 

 

 

> **Movie? You're watching a movie? I thought this distraction mission was urgent.**
> 
> **The only reason I agreed to this nonsense was because you said it was urgent.**
> 
> **Did you lie to me?**

Eponine S:  um

Eponine S:  wellll;;;;;

Eponine S: u seem to ave havd it under contrll

Eponine S:  so i.........went to anime clbu

Eponine S: club

Forrest N: Nina please calm down...

Velouria G:  busted

Velouria G:  rhajats gonna murder you

Asugi G: yea u know shes into that weird witch stuff so

Eponine S: tell ignis ill miss him when im gone

* * *

 

"Rhajat?"

 

"What." She looked up at Dwyer again, her growing anger becoming apparent by the look on her face.

 

"Are you...okay?" He gestured towards her face. "You look--"

 

"I'm fine. Peachy." She slammed her phone face down on the table, hard enough to shake the table a bit. Her expression eventually softened as she came to a realization how hostile her actions appeared. She picked her phone back up, inspected it for cracks, then gently set it back down.

 

"Huh." Dwyer blinked in surprise. He was used to her attitude, conditioned to it even. But something about her tone combined with her expression made him feel genuinely disturbed. He picked his book-bag up off of the floor and dropped it in his lap. "'Kay. Well, I better go."

 

"Did I upset you?"

 

"No, no, it's not you. The train. There's only 3 that can take me home and I really don't want to wait until 5:30 for the next one." Dwyer stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder and grabbing his textbook. "Besides. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

 

"You were serious about your offer?" Rhajat raised an eyebrow.

 

"If I'm lying, I'll gladly drop dead right now." A small smile crossed Dwyer's lips.

 

"Then I suppose...I'll come along."

 

"I'll save you a seat." Dwyer waved at her as he made his way out of the library.

 

"...Bye..."

 

She could've sworn she felt something.

\- - -

 

"Psst...Ophelia."

 

"Yes?"

 

"Does the blue haired guy...y'know?" Nina's eyes darted nervously from Ophelia to the movie projected on the whiteboard.

 

"Nina, you know that it would be against my honor as well as my integrity for me to spoil a production of any kind."

 

"I need to know before I get invested!" Nina whined.

 

"You'll see!"

 

"...I'm looking it up." Nina reached in her pocket, pulling out her phone and unlocking it. Before she could even open her browser, a notification came through.

* * *

(3:34)

Goth Bitch: He's on the move.

Goth Bitch: Something about taking the train home. If you're going to stop him, do it fast.

Sunshine: Leave it to me! I'll track him down!

* * *

 

Nina froze."...THE TRAIN!" She let the immediate panic set in for a moment before she practically leaped out of her seat, grabbed her belongings, and scrambled to get out of the door. As soon as she regained her balance, she bolted down the hallway, nearly bulldozing a few passersby.

"But you have to see how it ends!" Ophelia called out after her. "He doesn't die in  _this_ season!" She watched as Nina zoomed out of sight and frowned. Shaking her head, Ophelia sighed and turned back to rejoin her club.

"May the gods bless your mission, Nina."


	3. 3:45: Tag Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phase Two of formulating the Perfect Distraction: Put on a good show.

"Alright, Mitama! We're gonna need a game plan!"

"Who needs a what now?" Mitama raised an eyebrow, her focus wavering between Soleil and her phone as she read Rhajat's constant updates on Dwyer's position. "Why should I get involved?"

"Because we're friends! We can't leave Nina hanging!" Soleil pouted, grabbing Mitama by the shoulders. "Besides! It's a free invite to a party! And you know what that means?"

"I get to go home and relish in the satisfaction of watching this all crash and burn?" Mitama deadpanned.

"No! It means you can finally get out the house! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"......No."

Soleil sighed in exasperation, letting go of her shoulders. "You don't have to deal with your dad telling you to clean your room if you're out tonight..."

"A tempting offer indeed." Mitama looked up in thought.

"If you come, it'll make Dwyer happy! And then you can go be wallflowers with Rhajat and Velouria or whatever it is you and your clique do!"

"You do realize I have friends outside of them, right?" Mitama crossed her arms. "And I don't appreciate you calling it a--"

"Yeah, yeah! It's a 'collective'! I've heard this before! But you gotta help me help out!"

"Fine! Fine, just stop pestering me!"

"Awesome!" Soleil beamed, immediately giving Mitama a tight hug before checking her phone. "Okay, so he's by the main office right now sooo..."

"Meet him outside?"

"Bingo! Let's go!" Soleil grabbed Mitama's arm and began to run, pulling Mitama down the hall with her.

* * *

  
Dwyer took his time walking down the hall, peeking into every classroom in hopes that his sister would at least be in one of them. He certainly had no qualms about leaving her, but the thought of being yelled at for "abandoning" her was far more troublesome than actually taking the time to look for her.

He stopped in front of her homeroom class. The lights were off, and the door appeared to be locked.

"Well, I tried." He shrugged and continued walking.

"DWYER!"

Dwyer flinched. He didn't look back. He knew he would regret it if he did.

"HEY! WAIT UP!"

"Just keep going...if you stop, you're making a mistake."

"Motherf--" Dwyer suddenly felt something collide with the back of his head. Dwyer finally stopped, grabbing his head and squeezing his eyes shut as the object clattered onto the ground.

"God, WHAT?" He snapped, turning around to see his sister running towards him, one shoe missing and her bag hanging haphazardly off her shoulder.

"Wait for me!"

Dwyer rolled his eyes, glancing down at the shoe that sat at his feet before picking it up. "Really now? Throwing shoes? What are you, five?"

"Well maybe if you LISTENED to me," Nina skidded to a halt in front of him, reaching for her shoe. "We could settle things like adults. Now give it."

Dwyer held it above her head, a smug expression settling on his face. "An adult asks nicely."

" _Please_  give it."

"Mm, nah." Dwyer turned back around, continuing down the hall.

"Give it back!" Nina whined, nearly climbing onto his back in an attempt to reach her shoe.

"Or what, you're gonna tell on me? Grow up."

"You're the one being childish!" Nina huffed.

"Said the shoe thrower."

"DWYER!"

"Nina!" Dwyer mocked in the same whining tone.

"UGH!"

"God, you make it too easy." Dwyer chuckled, tossing it towards her. Nina let the shoe fall on the ground, stuffed her foot back inside of it, then continued walking alongside her. She looked back to see if Rhajat was still tailing him, but all she could see was the empty hallway. She let out a sigh of relief, then quickly opened the group chat back up.

* * *

>   
>  **(3:45)**  
>  **hey**  
>  **thx rhajat**

Goth Bitch: Mmhm

Sunshine: tama and i are waiting for you!  
Sunshine: just give us our cue! :3  
Miitomo: Do not call me that.  
Miitomo: Not in this life or the next  
Miitomo: I will murder you.  
Awoo ! :3c: was that a haiku  
Awoo ! :3c: where are the /// things  
Miitomo: shhhhh

°˖✧Boss✧˖°: I have good news!!  
°˖✧Boss✧˖°: I don't have violin practice today anymore~ (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ  
°˖✧Boss✧˖°: You know have my complete attention!

> **omgggg thank you forrest!!**

°˖✧Boss✧˖°: alsooo  
°˖✧Boss✧˖°: Kiragi said he and Shiro were available so they should be able to make it tonight!

> **YES**  
>  **NICE**

Sunshine: wow ya sure like forrest's best friend's hot cousin huh  
Sunshine: waitwaitwait  
Sunshine: I HEAR YOU GUYS  
Sunshine: on your signal!!

* * *

Nina looked up at her brother, running through every possible conversation topic she could to make up for the otherwise awkward silence. If Soleil caught him off-guard, it was certainly be better than a coincidental run-in. Her mind racing, Nina finally spoke up.

"So! Didja hear?"

"Hear what?"

_....I didn't think this far._

"You know, the major rumor?"

"I don't pay attention to rumors, Nina."

"But it's super big! You seriously didn't hear?" She gasped dramatically.

"You being vague doesn't help my case."

"You know Hisame yeah?"

" _Who?_ " Dwyer frowned.

"You called him "that weird cucumber kid" in the 3rd grade!"

"Oh! Yeah. I should probably apologize for that... Why?"

"Well, rumor has it that he's in a bit of a pickle."

"Pickle..." Dwyer couldn't put his finger on it, but something felt off.

"It's super serious too."

"Pickle."

"Wh- hey, are you listening?!"

"Pickle..." Dwyer stopped briefly and looked up in thought. "That's what it was! He was the weird pickle kid! The weird cucumber kid was Asugi's cousin. God, what was her name again?"

"....Seriously, _that's_ what you're focused on?"

"Sorry. Go ahead."

"Anyways, he's dying." Nina casually looked back down at her phone.

"I-- I'm sorry?"

* * *

 

> **(3:50)**
> 
> **showtime ladies!!**

* * *

"Alright, Mitama, we're up!" Soleil turned to Mitama, her excitement practically seeping out of her.

"Keep in mind, I'm following your lead." Mitama crossed her arms.

"We're gonna ace this!" Soleil peered around the corner, watching as Dwyer and Nina approached. "Get into position!"

  
"You can't just bring that up so casually! Is he okay? Is he sick?" Dwyer's voice was starting to lose its usual monotone.

"Yeah, he's fine! Why do you ask?" Nina looked up at him, feigning innocent.

"You said he was dying!"

"Dying? I said frying! Geez, why are you so morbid?"

"You definitely di--"

"Mitama, do you see it?" Soleil's voice suddenly rung out. Dwyer and Nina stopped, watching as Soleil frantically paced around a nearby tree. Mitama stood next to her, straining to see up into the tree.

"I...do not."

"This is...bad. Really bad!" Soleil suddenly grabbed Mitama's shoulders. "I'm gonna be in a buttload of trouble if I don't get it back!"

"Wha...What are we getting back?" Mitama whispered.

"My headband!" Soleil loudly cried, hoping she would take the hint. "My grandma's headband! My dad gave that to me on my birthday! Do you even know what he'll say to me if I come home without it?"

"Soleil, you heartless wench, you've broken my heart beyond repair and I want you out of my house by dawn?"

"Something to that extent!" Soleil began to shake her, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. "Mitama, my dad is going to hate me for the rest of forever! I...I can't..." She suddenly began to sob, hugging Mitama and crying into her shoulder. Mitama awkwardly gave her a pat on the back, taken aback by how convincing Soleil's acting was. Mitama looked over her shoulder, directly at Dwyer and Nina.

"Oh look! Soleil, maybe they can help!"

"Who?" Soleil sniffed, letting go of Mitama and turning to the siblings.

"Dwyer. You're tall. Come here." Mitama beckoned.

"What's up?" Dwyer slowly walked over to the two.

"Somehow, by some vaguery of the arcane, Soleil got her headband stuck in a tree." Mitama pointed up into the tree's tall branches. "Her white one? The one--"

"The one my dad gave me!" Soleil sniffed. "I know-- I know it's your birthday and you want to go home and relax, b-b-but please! I can't go home without it! Not only will my parents be upset but my poor sweet grandmother is gonna have her heart broken!"

"First of all, stop crying." Dwyer dropped his bag on the ground nearby. "We'll get it."

"But Dwyeeeer!" Nina ran up to him. "What about the train? We're gonna miss it!"

Dwyer looked at his watch. "...You go on ahead. I'll catch the 5:30."

"That's like a whole hour!"

"And a couple of minutes." Mitama shrugged. "But who's counting?"

"Tell Dad I'll be late."

"...No...no, i'll stay." Nina sighed in defeat, fighting her oncoming smile.

"You two are the best!" Soleil grinned as she wrapped her arms around Dwyer's waist, launching herself into a hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"I'll go see if it flew somewhere else near the perimeter!" Nina ran off.

"I'll check the other nearby shrubbery." Mitama walked away, occasionally peering into the bushes she passed to keep up appearances.

"Are you sure it's up there?" Dwyer raised an eyebrow, squinting up at the tree.

"It has to be! When the wind blew it off, I saw it fly up there!" Soleil clasped a hand on his shoulder. "You're gonna have to do me a solid and climb up there."

"Soleil--"

"I'll spot you! You're taller than me, so it'll be easier for you!"

Dwyer groaned as he looked at the branches. Perhaps he should gone home after all.

* * *

 

> **(4:16)**
> 
> **omfg soleil is like the best actress ive ever seen**  
>  **i didnt know she could cry on command**

Ocean Man: Well she is in theater...  
Weeb Supreme: Shigure! Our saintly siren graces us with his presence!  
Weeb Supreme: What brings you to our humble chatroom at this hour?  
Awoo ! :3c: more importantly how come shigure can respond but ignatius is suspiciously missing  
Ocean Man: Choir practice is finally over, so I have time  
°˖✧Boss✧˖°: You did so well!! ♡  
Ocean Man: Ah....thank you ///  
Weeb Supreme: Aw, how cute~  
Goth Bitch: Get a room.  
Weeb Supreme: Oh.  
°˖✧Boss✧˖°: Nina, do you need anything while we're on the way home?

> **(4:19)**
> 
> **ummm**  
>  **i dont think so? my parents havent asked for any extra**  
>  **but. we? ? u and sieg?**

°˖✧Boss✧˖°: I maaaaay be getting a ride home.....  
Weeb Supreme: How scandalous!  
Goth Bitch: Get another room.  
Awoo! :3c: wth and yet you won't take me home shigure?  
Awoo! :3c: blocked  
Ocean Man: Really, it's nothing serious...  
Sweet Thang: frills, how nice is his ride  
°˖✧Boss✧˖°: I respect Shigure's privacy! I can't reveal details! (⇀‸↼‶)  
°˖✧Boss✧˖°: But I think it's nice!  
Sweet Thang: shigure wtf do you drive, a sports car??  
Sweet Thang: it must be a luxury vehicle if youve got him impressed  
°˖✧Boss✧˖°: Are you insinuating that I'm high maintenance?  
Miitomo: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT  
Sweet Thang: no offense but you 2 literally look like ur the candidates for the next royal wedding  
Sweet Thang: literal fairytale couple  
Sweet Thang: i just thought u'd have really high standards :/  
Ocean Man: Thank....you?  
Goth Bitch: Mitama, aren't you supposed to be helping Soleil.  
Miitomo: Don't question me

> **Forrest**  
>  **Boss**  
>  **Send pics**  
>  **yall are so cute**

°˖✧Boss✧˖°: ? Of us? Now? Hmm...

°˖✧Boss✧˖°: One second!  
Miitomo: uhhhh Nina  
Miitomo: Come back...you need to see this  
  


* * *

 

Nina made her way back to the front of the building, meeting back up with Mitama.

"What, did you find it?"

Mitama pointed up at the tree. Nina looked up, her jaw dropping almost immediately.

"Where did you say it was?" Dwyer shouted down at Soleil, keeping an iron grip on one of the branches that was keeping him upright.

"It's up there somewhere! I think I see it!" Soleil backed up, joining Mitama and Nina. "A little to the left!"

"You...stuck my brother in a _tree?!_ " Nina hissed.

"You said keep him busy! You're welcome!" Soleil gave her a thumbs up.

"How high did you throw your headband in there again?" Mitama stared at the tree in awe.

"I didn't."

"...Excuse me?" Mitama blinked in surprise.

"I never threw it!"

"Soleil....where is it?" Nina turned to Soleil, fear starting to set in.

"It's in my backpack! Do you really think I'd do something as stupid as sacrifice a family heirloom?" Soleil proudly put her hands on her hips. "It's calling acting! Pretty good, huh?"

Nina didn't know where to scream or laugh. She could only look on in a mix of bewilderment and dread. Slowly, she took a few steps backward, turning her phone back on.

"What are you doing?" Mitama finally tore her gaze away from Dwyer.

"Getting a picture of this."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when in doubt trap your sibling in a tree am i right


	4. 4:24: It's Entirely Your Fault

(4:24)

Nine: hey so

Nine: wanna see something wild

Nine: dont show dad 

* * *

 

Niles stared at the image before him,  just barely managing to stifle his laughter. His hands shook as he bit his lip in an attempt to silence himself, but despite his best efforts, a snicker or two escaped. In all his years of parenting, he had seen his children in some pretty ridiculous situations, but Dwyer up in a tree was undoubtedly, one of the _most_ ridiculous things he had seen.

"I do hope you've finished what I've asked of you." Jakob's voice suddenly jolted Niles out of his thoughts. He quickly rose out of his seat, turning to face his husband.

"Yep! Absolutely. Got it aaaaall squared away."

Jakob crossed his arms, his expression unfaltering. "Really now?" 

"Would I lie to you, darling?" Niles cooed.

"The balloons, then?"

"Blew the hell out of 'em."

Jakob shifted and cleared his throat, slightly perturbed.

"You make it too easy!" Niles couldn't help but laugh, playfully giving one of Jakob's cheeks a nudge. "My, my, is that a hint of red I see?"

"...Anyways...."

"Hung the streamers up, ordered a pizza, contacted the parents of our attendees-- C'mon, who do you take me for?"

"I must admit, you've outdone yourself." Jakob's expression softened and he began to smile.  

"Anything else you need? Your wish is my command, master." Niles stuck out his tongue. Before he could even throw in an additional wink, Jakob had already left in a huff, storming off into the kitchen.

* * *

 

"It just occurred to me," Mitama looked up in thought, finally turning her attention away from the tree. "Hypothetically speaking, if he fell--"

"Don't say it." Nina glared.

"Yes, but hypothetically--"

"He _won't_."

"...if he fell,"

"MITAMA!"

"And hypothetically broke his legs,"

"Ho-kay! I think we're done here!" Soleil suddenly clasped a hand around Mitama's mouth, laughing nervously as Mitama suddenly went silent. Mitama pried Soleil's fingers away from her mouth and rolled her eyes.

"Fine! Fine. Suit yourself. But the grim, grim possibilities are still present."

Nina began to fidget as Dwyer inched along the branch, determined to complete his goal. Nina had never seen her brother in such a dauntless state of mind before. It was both inspiring, and utterly terrifying. Mitama's hypothetical scenario certainly didn't help her thought process. What if he did fall? Who would she call first? How do you explain to your parents that your brother suddenly needs a wheelchair? Nina's fidgeting grew worse as she watched.

 

"I...I can't watch this!" Nina threw her bag down and ran over without a second thought, beginning to scale the tree.

 

Nina pulled herself up, speeding along the tree trunk as she ascended.  Worst case scenario: the party was either postponed or moved to the hospital the two of them would inevitably be staying in. On the bright side, it would make for an interesting story to tell.  She paused, calling up to her brother before advancing further. "Psst, Dwyer!"

Dwyer did a double take as he looked down. "How did you get up here so fast?"

"There's a reason Dad could never ground me when we were kids." She stuck out her tongue. "Scooch over. I'm comin' to help."

Dwyer squinted. "I don't trust you."

"Wha-- I'm your darling little sister! I'd never do anything to hurt you!"

"Yeah, you're definitely up to no good."

"I'm trying to help you! Four eyes are better than two! Plus I'm lighter and faster than you."

Dwyer frowned, but complied with her request. Nina effortlessly swung herself onto the branch, taking a seat next to him.

"Wassup?" Nina gave him her cheesiest smile.

"I won't hesitate to literally kick you out right now."

"Wow, violent much?"

"I could've done this myself." Dwyer sighed, almost leaning back before quickly realizing the tree trunk wasn't behind it.

"You don't always have to do stupid things on your lonesome, you know." Nina frowned. "We're supposed to do stupid things together. It's our thing!"

"Is that what we're calling it?"

"At least until it gets one of of us killed, bro."

Dwyer snickered, bringing a hand to his face and hiding his smile.

"Holy smokes! A real Dwyer-brand smile!" Nina gasped dramatically. "Lemme see the whole thing!"

"Knock it off before I really kick you out!"  He attempted to frown, but for once, he couldn't.

"Okay, okay! Sheesh!" Nina carefully began to stand. Wobbling a bit, she walked over him and peered up into the tree, standing on her tiptoes.  "But for the record, I totally caught that."

 

"...If she falls, I want her laptop." Mitama mumbled.

"Good evening, my dearest companions!" Mitama and Soleil turned to see Ophelia walking towards them, her bag slung over her shoulder and a notebook tucked under her arm. "Still loitering about school grounds?"

"The very same could be said about you." Mitama sneered.

"Hey you! How'd the club go?" Soleil offered Ophelia one of her signature smiles.

"Well, it seems I've gotten my faithful adherents hooked on the series we decided to watch today, so I suppose..." Ophelia hummed, looking for the right work. "As you would say, 'pretty sweet'!"

"You headin' home then?"

"Precisely. I must hurry back and change into the proper attire for tonight's grand soiree!" Ophelia slid her notebook into her bag. "Where are the lovely hosts, anyway? Did they make it home safely?"

"W-Well, uh..." Soleil began to laugh nervously.

"No." Mitama answered without a second thought.

"Oh my. Where did they--"

"Tree." Mitama pointed.

"Oh my GOD?!" Ophelia gasped, nearly dropping all of her belongings on the ground. She quickly cleared her throat, attempting to retreat back into her character. "I-I mean, good heavens! What on earth is this tomfoolery?"

"Tomfoolery?" Mitama snorted.

"Foolishness! Balderdash! Poppyc--" Ophelia made an exasperated gesture at the tree. "What is THAT?!"

"It's Soleil's fault."

" _MY_  fault?" Soleil's eyes widened.

Ophelia backed away, back towards the building. "I...I feel...faint?"

"Alright, let's go." Mitama shook her head, grabbing Ophelia's hand and pulling her away from the scene. "Soleil, I'll trust you with...this disaster. I'll take her home."

"See you tonight!" Soleil waved. She turned back, watching the scene she undoubtedly had a hand, if not sole responsibility in created. It wasn't _that_ bad. It could have been much worse.  

Though she had to admit, it was going on a bit long.

“Hey guys?”  Soleil reapproached. “You know, it's okay if you don't find it! I could like, find a replacement at a thrift store or something!”

“Wait, I think I see something!” Nina yelled.

Soleil blinked in surprise. Was she pretending?

“I got it! I got it! I--” Nina suddenly shrieked as she suddenly careened off the branch. She scrambled to grab the branch below her,  screaming for dear life as she kicked wildly to find some form of support.

 

“NEVERMINDNEVERMINDNEVERMIND--”

 

“Hold still!” Dwyer panicked for a brief moment, then grabbed one of  her wrists.

“I'm gonna _DIE!_ ” She twisted around, struggling to pull herself up.

“Keep moving and you will!”

“CALL THE COPS!”

“Are you _crying?_ ”

“Just pull me up!” Nina sniffed, wiping any emerging tears on her sleeve. Dwyer began pulling her up, silently hoping that if he fell, at the very least, she'd break his fall. She was young. Her tree sustained wounds would heal. Eventually.

Once she was back on safe footing, Nina shoved past her brother  to climb back down, deciding that she had experienced enough arbor induced anxiety for a day.

“Did you get it?” Dwyer called down, sliding along the branch to climb down after her.

“It's in my poc--KEEET--!” Nina screamed as the branch under her foot snapped, sending her back down to the ground. Before she could pray and beg for her life, she was already safely on the ground. Without looking back, she scrambled to her feet and made a mad dash to Soleil.  

“Are you okay?” Soleil nearly fell over as Nina captured her in a hug.

“I'm alive!”

“You do know you fell like, a couple inches, yeah?”

Nina turned around and stared at the remnants of the branch she had broken. Surely enough, the fall was easily within jumping distance.

“...Huh. Still!  I have your headband!” Nina began digging in her pockets.

“But it's in my bag, remember?”

“Well, I got--” Nina pulled out a crumpled plastic bag. “This!”

Soleil stared down at the bag, her expression suddenly going blank.  “Please tell me you didn't have that already.”

“It was in the tree!” Nina hissed, shoving the bag into Soleil’s hands. “Just go along with it!”

“Was that it?” Dwyer hopped down, brushing any chipped off bark that lingered on his clothes.

“Uh...yeah!” Soleil stuffed the plastic bag into her back pocket. “It's kinda dirty but it's okay! Thank you so much!” Soleil smiled once more, giving Dwyer a quick hug.

“Anything else you lose or are we good?”

“We're good! Great! Super duper!” Soleil nodded, a bit too enthusiastically.

“Try not to lose anything else, okay?” Nina sighed. “Probably have a bruise because of the fall…”

“It was like four inches at the most! The hell kind of fall is that?” Dwyer rolled his eyes. Nina elbowed him in the stomach, speaking through tightly gritted teeth.

“It. Was. Traumatic. Got it?”

“Funny way of saying dramatic.”

“ANYWAY! Headband retrieved, mission accomplished, you're welcome!”

“Hey, if there’s anything I can do to make up for, you know, endangering your lives and all, lemme know, okay?” Soleil clapped a hand on Dwyer’s shoulder, giving him a thumbs up.

“...Anything?” Dwyer raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah! It’s the least I can do!”

“Buy me lunch for the week and we’ll call it even.”

“Wha-- Dwyer!” Nina punched him in the arm. “Our father works his butt off to make sure we have food of the highest quality to--”

“Yes, I’ll give you my extra lunch.”

“Carry on, then! Deal accepted!”

“Lunch? That’s easy! I gotcha!” Soleil ruffled Dwyer’s hair a bit before finally backing away. “Hey, so, I gotta run home real quick before my dad gets worried. But! I’ll see you toniiiiiii--”

Nina glared at Soleil with the most threatening look she could possibly muster.

“... _Two_ nights from today!”

“So...Saturday?” Dwyer frowned.

“We have a thing.” Nina quickly spoke.

“Yep! Super important thing!”

“Real important.”

“Ahaha…” Soleil nervously looked over at Dwyer, who looked even more confused than he had been.  “So, yeah! Bye!” With a quick wave, Soleil ran off.

“Weird, huh?” Nina playfully nudged Dwyer. “That Soleil! Always up to no good, am I right?”

“She didn’t lose anything in that tree.”

“I-- Yeah. You got me.”

“Was that _supposed_ to be a prank?”

“Yeeeeees?”

“Huh. “ Dwyer smirked. “Well, it was funny when you almost died, so--”

“That WASN’T funny.”

“You’re right. It was hilarious!” Dwyer shook his head, walking towards the exit.

“You’re so...evil! You’re just evil!”

“You coming or what? Next train doesn’t stop until 9:45. Plenty of time for me to claim your room.”

“Bite me.” Nina grumbled, stomping along right behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE I ACTUALLY FINISHED ANOTHER CHAPTER  
> im shocked at myself  
> lays down  
> help


End file.
